Top Ten Things I Can't Stand About Freddie Benson
by xbRiDgEtx319x
Summary: Sam writes a list. And hopes Freddie doesn't find it... Rated T for language!


**Hey Guys! So this is my first iCarly fanfiction that I'm posting! Please give me feedback, I'd love to hear what you think. I know she's a little out of character, but I think it's kind of cute. How 'bout you? I've got more coming if this one gets good reviews(:**

**Top Ten Things I, Samantha Puckett, Can't **_**Stand **_**About Freddie Benson.**

10. All those damn fan girls. They always say they're in love with him and he's their favorite celebrity and that it's so cool that he's a computer geek He's not even that famous, and I can name at least 5 _nerds_ hotter than him. (1. Jesse Eisenberg, there's something about a nerdy badass, because Zombieland is the greatest movie known to man. 2. Michael Cera, because he's fucking hilarious. 3. That guy from Easy A, what was his name? He always seems pretty nerdy to me. He's also in that show Cougar Town, A.K.A. Carly's new obsession, which I really don't get because it's for old ladies, like my mom. Not Freddie's, cause she probably doesn't know what a cougar is. Dan Byrd! That's who he is, yeah, he's pretty cool. 4. Jay Baruchel, because his movies are really funny too. 5. Tohper Grace (as Eric Forman) because that's legit the best show on the planet.)

9. The way he just walks into Carly's apartment without knocking. It's like he's so comfortable with her that he can. It's okay when I do it, but it's just annoying when he does. Plus, what if he walks in on something weird (not that he hasn't) but what if Carly and I were having a little lesbian moment (HA! He's probably have a heart attack!) or we could be interviewing new nerds to replace him. That would just be awkward.

8. I hate when he counts down for the show. Why does he _always _forget the 2 and why does he always point to me? Even when I'm not starting…

7. His hair, why the fuck does he always have to slick it back? Seriously, it could look really hot if he let it fall down in his face, but noo, he just _has_ to look like Neville Papperman at all times.

6. The way he never lets me cheat off of him on tests. He says it's because he knows I can do it myself, but that's bullshit. He just wants me to fail, and to rub it in my face.

5. All his damn tech-talk. He thinks he's so cool, talking so we cant understand. He gets way too cocky and he's not even that great. One day, I'm going to look up all his terms and speak to him in his native language of Dorko That'd be so great…like when he got a tattoo of my face.

4. Speaking of that, it may have been pretty damn funny, but I hated having to stare at myself on his flesh for those few days. It was like we had this secret between us, me being on his arm and all. It was just weird.

3. How he's in love with Carly. She's not even that great, and it's not like they're ever going to happen. She just uses him for his tech skills. He's such a little idiot. Can't he open his eyes and see what's right in front of him? Oh God, I didn't just say that. I didn't mean it.

2. How I'm so utterly and completely in love with him. I hate Carly for not appreciating him. And I loved those few days when my face was etched on his arm. His tech talk makes me melt. I love that he has faith in me, even if I am useless. I always want to run my hands through his hair and mess it up so it looks like we just had sex. I adore his tech talk, and the way he always points to me, it's like I'm special, and he likes me best, even if that's not true. I love how he shows up randomly all the time, because my heart always beats when I hear movement in the hallway, and there's always that suspense, "When's Freddie going to come?" And I'm so jealous of those fangirls because they can tell him how much they love him and not be embarrassed. And I'd die if he found this.

1. And what I hate most of all about one certain Fredward Benson is that he's so cunning and can get past every defense I put up. So, no doubt he'll find this list.

**Thanks GuyS! Remember, REVIEW! **


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